I fail to knock on wood and the universe dicks me around

I am from good old Irish and Croatian families, so I don't know why I didn't knock on wood when I said to myself that my car didn't have any major problems, and wouldn't end up costing me much. I should've known better. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid.

My car broke down not 15 minutes later. I changed lanes, pressed the accelerator pedal and the emissions light came on. Of course, I didn't know it was the emissions light, so I kept driving - flicking the car manual while driving (we're not allowed to talk on our mobile phones, but this is apparently legal). It said that I didn't have to stop driving since it wasn't flashing. I figured I'd take it to the mechanics in the morning. No sooner did I dare to make that plan, than the freaking car started shuddering. Like the whole thing. I thought it might be trying to stall, or something, so I put it into Neutral but it kept shuddering. I stopped at the lights and tried revving it, since my transmission is weird and slow, but nothing. It sounded like it was insulted that I would try to fix it. I started freaking out and cursing my earlier glibness with planning a year of no big car repairs. Stupid self.

I pulled over into the nearby shopping centre, and parked it in the middle of two parks at the very edge. I know it is Christmas, but it was empty when I did this. I panicked, called my Dad - who pointed out that he was in Australia and thus unable to rescue me, and told me to call my Roadside Assist. Yeah, that would've been good to do first.

I called them. And I waited for over half an hour (20min tops, my ass!) for the guy to arrive. People parked around me, including a guy who decided that despite all the other freaking parks, he'd park in the park next to me - leaving like 20cm between our cars. My hood is up, I'm on the phone - don't you think that there might be a reason beyond I'm a girl and therefore bad at parking? Asswipe. So in that half an hour, how many people do you think asked if I was ok? NONE. They all stared though. How kind of them. I croatian waved back to them and they kept walking away. Asses. The Red Bull Promo girls were parked in their car opposite me. They gave a guy walking past a free can.....did they give me one? No. Stupid skanks.

Does this not scream, I am stuck here, give me a free drink or at least ask if I'm ok?

Roadside Assist guy arrives, asks me what the issue is, tells me that I'm wrong - it's not the emissions light, it's the engine. Oh wait, I'm right. Like I wouldn't have looked it up? WTF? I'm a GIRL, not incompetent! He has no clue what it is, so jumps into his truck and calls for a towie.

Yay! I think, "I'm getting the fuck out of here!" What the hell was I thinking? Obviously the universe was fucking with me, and the tow truck that was going to take another 40 minutes. Whatevers. I sat and waited, and then waited some more. I considered taking pictures of everyone who stared at my car but didn't stop, or posting their vehicle registration details somewhere, but my camera died. Cos the universe wasn't finished dicking with me yet.

I ended up waiting TWO HOURS. In that entire time, one person asked me if I was ok, or if I needed to call someone. ONE PERSON. The hell? What is wrong with people? I live in NZ, we're practically stuck in the 70's, neighbours look out of one another, I never lock my car at home. Once I left my lights on in the carpark across from work, and the attendant called the Hospital to find out my number since she could see I have the parking label in my window, to let me know. Our cops don't carry guns. Moko the Dolphin was headline National news for three days - he's on the news every year. We're supposed to care about each other, or at least be kind. Fuckers.

I sent out a lot of curses today. I hope their mobile phones die just as they are stranded somewhere. I hope their nails break and they scratch their eyes (yes, I did this earlier today). I hope they are underpoured and overcharged all New Years Eve. I hope that their BBQ's on the beach over summer are tainted with little bits of sand.

I guess it's time to admit that I've only stopped once, but that's because people normally break down on the motorway and I'm too busy yelling at the fuckheads in front of me to drive properly or get off the road, to see them and then I've already passed them. But if I saw someone in the parking lot who had their hood up? I'd ask if they are ok. I wouldn't stare. What if I needed to call someone and I didn't have my mobile? What if I had a baby that was overheating in the sun, and needed to take them inside for a few minutes? What the fuck, people?

My car has been towed to my mechanic. No one is sure what is wrong, and since I have to go to work tomorrow because of the stupid funding applications, I'm taking my aunt's car and seeing the mechanic in the morning. Grandad and Dad think it could be something very cheap (like $10) or it could be $100s. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve - there is a snowball chance that it will be done tomorrow, and since I'm going away on the Boxing Day Stat Holiday (Mon) for 8 days, I won't have my car back until next year. I guess this means that I'm not taking my bike for training while camping.

Adventures in Pre-Christmas Shopping

I always leave my Christmas shopping till the last minute. I like the atmosphere, I like the adrenaline of "oh, fuck - what the hell am I going to get Nana/Baby K/Neighbour Boy/random stranger on the street", I like the ability to go shopping late at night and the sun is still up. So this morning when I considered that I had plenty of time to go shopping, I decided to stay in bed (a good thing really since it decided that raining in December was appropriate) reading blogs. Specifically this blog, Amalah.com in all my creepy OCD tendency to read from the very beginning, like it is a book. I know. Creepy.

Anyway, since I'm lazy and it was raining, I stayed in bed while the others went out. And then got back home. Opps.

12.04pm Should really get going

12.05pm Maybe I'll read just one more month

12.11pm Ok, really should get going

12.24pm Why do I have no clean clothes?

12.26pm Decide that an outfit of 75% clean clothes is close enough. I do live out west afterall.

12.42pm Finish mocking my aunt for "camping menus and scheduled activities"

12.56pm Can't find hair brush, decide that messy hair in a ponytail is so in season, and refer to living out west again

1.12pm Have wallet and phone. Where did I put my keys?

1.14pm Start reading teh internets again. Wonder if the prominent NZ comedian is just as prominent as the prominent NZ entertainer ......i.e. not prominent at all and the name suppression didn't work - nor did he deserve it based on his future "record sales". Ass.

1.17pm Realise that this isn't helping me to find my keys. Resume search.

1.32pm Feeling a little frantic, have now lost keys and phone

1.37pm Recall that phone can be rung, dumbass, and proceed to ring it. Am very thankful that phone has an extra loud vibration, although I do occasionally wonder if my aunt thinks I am frequently using a vibrator late at night when someone txts me.

1.45om Realise that I have spent half a freaking hour looking for my keys and nothing. Shit. Have a look in my car - notice that it is really messy and resolve to clean it when back from shopping.

1.46pm Whine to my aunt that I can't find my keys. Ignore the mocking. Ask Baby K if she has seen them (No, and can't you see I'm busy sunbathing? And massaging the neighbour boy?) (Yes, she was wearing sunblock, and yes all of their clothes were on)

1.52pm Whining totally worked, Aunt is helping look.

1.53pm Keys are not in the fridge or freezer.

2.05pm Still no keys. Dammit.

2.15pm Aunt asks me when I last saw them. I think really really hard cos I already tried this game. I remember asking Kathryn to get yesterday's presents out of the boot, but already looked in that present pile and nothing.

2.17pm Hear triumphant yell from outside. My aunt hands me the keys from inside my boot, and damn they are hot from being in the hot car. I delight in their delicious burningness for my keys are here, in my hand and they burn with their realness.

2.18pm Realise that I will never live this down. Sigh.

That's right, a whole fucking hour it took me to find my keys. The hell? Last time I trust a 7 year old with my keys.

Numbers

Baby K: When did all the numbers come to our world? What's the last ever number?

Huh. Why not just break out the "What's sex?", at least I have a book for that.