This is not an REM song, but.....will I lose myself?

I wonder if by going into medicine, I will lose this part of myself that is able to think outside the box. It would be quite ironic, as on the test that shall never be spoke of again I wrote about this very thing. I am a strong believer/proponent/idealist about the Te Whare Tapa Wha model of health, and while this accepted in mental health, I've had a few run in's with people recently who are almost vehement in their opposition of anything that is not the biomedical system.

I was quite stunned about this, given that they are medical students, residents, GP's etc. Surely, a tool that is useful in dealing with people with chronic conditions, would be something that knowledge hungry people would be interested in? If it's something that could possibly assist in reducing the effects of diabetes, CHF, whatever, then it would be worth considering, rather than dismissing out of hand because it's not evidence based. Really, what I felt was a subtle racism towards these ideas simply because it wasn't conventional - and this was the first time that I had ever personally experienced it. It certainly gave me pause because I wasn't sure that this is what I was perceiving to be accurate, but it was. I could see myself losing track of the conversation at hand (osteopathic medicine) because I felt I was being attacked for my beliefs. Durie and the others had a lot of mana to be able to stand up in this culture of belief. I think what was worse, was the sense that they had to change my mind and wouldn't let up. Hell, I backed away for a few days and tried to start a different conversation, and once again it's led back to the fact that I think in a different way to them. I'm not trying to push my beliefs on them, but I do stand strong in mine. I do believe that only doing conventional (allopathic/western/usual) medicine or only doing alternative (complementary/traditional) medicine is harmful to the whole person, but this isn't how everyone thinks. It's how I think, and how I make decisions. I do worry about their future clients/patients who have a different belief system to them and thus need more consideration of interventions. A little consideration goes a long way for compliance.

Is medicine going to be like some sort of cult where freedom of belief is going to be beaten out of me? Will I be strong enough to withstand this beating? I feel that now, my taurangawaewae is strong enough, but I am able to have this reaffirmed with the way my service works.

I don't want to loose myself but I do want to be in medicine.